My Letter From the Dog

About 3 weeks into the Covid Quarantine, I woke up and found a letter on my kitchen counter. It was written by my dog Lucy and addressed to me.   Here’s what it said:

Dear Mom,

I’m worried about you.  All you do anymore, is sit around the house.   I knew you wouldn’t listen to me if I tried to talk with you.  You’d have a million excuses, so I decided to put my thoughts on paper.  I’ve made a list of ten things that concern me.

Number 1: You used to go out and do things.  Now all you do is sit around the house.  What happened to movies, concerts, coffee with friends?  Maybe you’re depressed?  If so, there are resources available.  I’m here to help. 

Number 2: Why don’t you go to work anymore?  Have you lost your job?  If so, how are we paying for all these things?  It’s ok, you can tell me.  Maybe I can pick up a few hours on the side.  Also, were the kids kicked out of school?  That’s a pretty big deal.  Maybe you need to punish them.

Number 3:  You used to enjoy going out to dinner.  Now all you do is carry out, and you bring it back here to eat.  I know you’re trying to hide it, but I can smell the wrappers and take-out containers in the trash

Number 4:  You used to take a little more pride in your appearance.  Now you wear yoga pants and that same sweatshirt every day, and your hair is always in a ponytail.  Honestly, are you even washing your hair anymore?

Number 5: Speaking of hair, when did you decide to go gray?  I liked it better brown.  I know it’s expensive to color it every 6 weeks, but I honestly think it was a better look for you.  You might get a trim while you’re at it.  Those split ends are starting to show.

Number 6: On the bright side the house has never been cleaner, but now everything smells like bleach and Lysol.  I used to love to sniff around the floor for spills and crumbs, but the chemical odor just gives me a headache.

Number 7: I never thought I’d say this, but the walks are getting out of control!  You know I love to take walks, but I’m exhausted!  Why don’t you go to the gym anymore?  I’m sure you’re still paying good money for that membership.

Number 8:  You used to have people over.  When is the last time you let the kids invite their friends to the house?   I haven’t seen another face in this house for a month.  I love you guys, but I need some new legs to sniff!

Number 9: I’m concerned about your screen time.  The kids are on their tablets and phones all day.  You’re watching way too much stupid TV.  This guy Joe Exotic is nuts and so is that B Carol Baskin.  Why would you watch a show about them?

Number 10:  I really need a visit to the groomer.  I never thought I’d say this, but my fur is covering my eyes, and I just feel sloppy!  My nails are too long, and I still smell like that goose poop I rolled in a few weeks ago.  I know you tried to give me a bath, but it’s just not the same!

Please understand, this letter is not meant to be critical.  I love having you around all the time even if it has really cut into my nap time.  How am I supposed to sleep all day with all the noise and activity?

But back to you.   I care about you Mom, and I am writing out of genuine concern.  Please consider what I’ve said and let’s sit down for an honest conversation.  I’m here when you are ready to talk.

Love,

Lucy