Are Warning Labels Insulting?

Is it just me or do warning labels insult our intelligence?

I was pumping gas one day and noticed the warning sign above the pump.  It seemed reasonable at first.  Stop EngineNo Smoking.  But then I came to: Never Siphon by Mouth.  Does that really need to be stated?  Are we stupid?

On my Panera coffee cup, it warned me that The Beverage you are About to Enjoy may be Hot.  Wait, are you saying that coffee is hot?  Who knew?

Hot beverages warrant a stern warning, but what about cold food and drink?  I’ve never seen a warning printed on a Popsicle or a milkshake.  What would it read?  Beware of Brain Freeze.

The lawyers must be to blame.   I was using some hand sanitizer the other day.  Thank goodness I read the warning label that explained it was:  For external use only.  I was just about to take a drink.

Even our beach ball, a seemingly harmless object, carries a warning label:  This is not a Life Saving Device.  I guess that’s why I never see them hanging from the lifeguard chairs. 

Cigarettes are known for their warning labels.  Tobacco is one product that deserves a harsh warning, but its label says something blasé about how the Surgeon General thinks smoking is a bad idea.

In Europe, they don’t mess around.  Their cigarettes say: Smoking Kills

The best cigarette warning I have seen was on a bumper sticker. It read:  Warning I just quit smoking.

On the front of my kids’ toothpaste is SpongeBob.  On the back it says: Warning: Keep out of the Reach of Children.  Frankly, it’s harder to get my kids to brush their teeth when they can’t reach the toothpaste. 

As I was cleaning our windows, I noticed that even the screen carries a warning: Screen will not Stop Child from Falling out of Window.  Really?   That explains why there’s no screened in porch on top of the Sears Tower.

Perhaps my favorite warning label of all is the one I noticed when I was flying.  It was written on the barf bag that they keep in the front pocket of the seat in front of you.  The bag is labeled: For Motion Discomfort which I suppose is helpful for new flyers.  But then it goes a step further to caution: Do not place in seat back after use. 

 Does that mean someone actually placed their used vomit bag back into the seat pocket?  How else would they even come up with that?  Did another guy really try to siphon gasoline with his mouth?

I guess we aren’t quite as smart as I thought.  Maybe humans need a warning label: Caution. I might do something stupid.   My teenager could definitely use one.   

I don't really find warning labels to be insulting, but they are amusing.  In any case , let’s be careful out there.  The world is a dangerous place.